I have no subscription right now. Hot damn.
Alright. To alleviate my bitchiness on this subject, it would please the court if you would list any other vampire books/series you have read aside from Twilight. I ask you to do this because it has been my experience that the vehement defenders of the Twilight books have not read many other vampire books in general. I invite you to prove me wrong and add weight and merit to your argument.


So, this is an excerpt from my newest deviation description. I'm gonna extrapolate. Yeah...

Heh heh heh. I'm sure I'll get crap for this, but oh, well. I'm not a Twilight hater, I just don't like all the fans out there that think her version of vampires is the be all end all of vampiredom. I consider her vamps to be a separate species of vampires from the ones we know and I hate that there are kids out there that have never read vampire books and think that this is the new Vampire bible.

Edit: To clarify, I don't mean "real" as in, "Omigod, there's a freaking vampire in my yard, right now!!! Get the stakes and the holy water!" I mean "real" vampire as in the general accepted definition of a vampire. "Vampires aren't real," is the most often response to this by Twilight fans since they don't understand.

How to tell it's a vampire in a few easy steps (depending on your author):
1. Burn in sunlight
2. don't do garlic
3. drink blood
4. don't do crosses
5. stake through the heart will kill them
6. preternatural strength
7. wonky mind powers
8. changing into things like mist, bats, wolves, etc.
9. maybe flying
10. transmission by biting if death follows
11. transmission by biting
12. transmission by sharing of blood
13. must be invited in
14. can't be seen in mirrors



1,2,3,4,5,6,7,10,13,14- Dracula
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,10,12,14- "Undead and Unwed" Betsy Taylor series
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,12,14- "Dead-End Dating" Lilliana Marchette series
1,3,5,6,7,9,12- Anne Rice novels
1,3,4,5,6,7,9,11(if bitten more than 3 times in succession by the same vamp), 12- Laurell K. Hamilton
1, (2 has never come up... o_o ), 3,4,5,6,7,9,12,13- "Dead until Dark" Sookie Stackhouse novels also True Blood television series
(1 sunlight causes damage and requires that they consume more blood),3,5,6,7,12- "Single White Vampire" Lyndsay Sands --- vampire in the loosest sense, but still closer than Twilight, actually-- they don't like being called vampires, are from Atlantis and are immortal because of nano-technology in their blood.
1,2,3,4,5(temporarily),6,7,8,9,10,12,13,14- "Carpe Jugulum" Discworld novels (send up of Dracula and other traditional vampires)
1,2,3,4,5,6,12,13,14- "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"/"Angel" tv series and comic
1,2,3 (can't remember if they also ate meat, though),5,6,11- "I Am Legend" and before you go all, "Those aren't vampires!!!" on me, I'm talking about the book, not the movie. They are very obviously vampires in the book. In the movie, not so much.
3 (to an extent),6,7,11- "Twilight"


Now lets do the Sparkly vamp list.
Or... you know... Sparkly vamp sentence: Twilight
What? That's it? A hundred years of vampire book and there's one book with Sparkle vamps in it? (EDIT! Hey, guess what? There is one more that predates Twilight by about 15 or so years. In a volume of the Vampire Diaries, one of the characters gets turned into a vampire that sparkles. I think it goes away, though. It's been a really REALLY long time since I've read it.)
I somewhat agree with one of the commenters on the deviation that sparked this and present that maybe the Twilight vamps are vamp/fairy hybrids of some kind. If you go by the White Wolf definition of vamps and werewolves, they all used to be fae at one point and were simply cut off from Arcadia. Reasonable to me. I think Meyers vampires are a different evolution or species of vampire. Creative license apparently extends to making something that has been, not rigidly defined, but at least given a freaking road map into something so far left field that it ceases to be the original thing. She has taken the road map and traded it for handwritten directions on a bar napkin.
I try to steer clear of teen vampire books if only for the fact that they forgo the vampires' inability to handle sunlight. How can vamps attend school if they burst into flame? Easy! In a teen book, the sun bears no problem! Whooo! Crisis and burning clothing averted. This annoys me as it is not a "new take on vampires" but a ploy to have them attend high school. Granted, Meyer did come up with a unique and interesting though somewhat ridiculous and unbelievable alternative.

I could go on with the list above. I haven't touched on some of the other books I've read, but that's mostly because I don't remember all the rules the top of my head. God forbid I walk across the room and read them again... I'd like to include the bumpy forehead vamps, just to round us out, which would include Buffy and the Jennifer Armentrout books, but I can't remember any of the other Armentrout taboos and I don't want to go read any of them.
I feel like making a vampire compendium... God, I have better things to do with my time... Like write that stupid speech I'm supposed to write.